marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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