; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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