anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
