Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
