You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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