this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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