Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
