So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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