No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
