I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
