Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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