you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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