it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.