Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
