shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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