ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just pee around me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
