Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
