Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize