I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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