Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i will never coherently bang her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
