tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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