and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
