is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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