I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
