it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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