Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
