sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
