I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
