He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When are your genitals available?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
