I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
