so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
