im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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