i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize