You can't special order awesome
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
