i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
