For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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