it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
