craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
