Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
