I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
