just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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