I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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