When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize