why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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