weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize