I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's shark week go big or go home
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
