Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
