I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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