And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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