My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
