I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
