I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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