He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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