My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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