actually, I'm a sock model
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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