i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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