So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
