We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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