i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
