Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
