You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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