with your own penis?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
