A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
