it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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